Shaun Kenney | Politics and Religion in Virginia's Public Square


Monday, December 25, 2006 Shrieks From the Booby Hatch: The Grand Unified Theory of Gift-Wrapping A great idea whose time had come about two weeks ago: The Grand Unified Theory of Gift-Wrapping is a remarkably simple solution. One buys a gift and avails oneself of the in-store wrapping service. The gift is then safe for storage at home, in the usual place. (The usual place is the place where your cohabitant pretends not to know you store gifts and you pretend not to know that he knows.) Then, at some discreet and convenient date, one replaces the outer, store-wrapped wrapping with one's own miserable excuse for wrapping. This can be done in either of two ways. First, one can place the wrapped gift in a larger box, and then wrap the outer box itself. Alternatively, one can unwrap the gift, discard the store-wrapping, and re-wrap from scratch. If one suffers from adequate mental illness, one can even pretend to be the recipient and express joy and amazement at the contents of the store-wrapping, as if one had not bought the gift inside. (I choose the former approach because, frankly, I'm close enough to the booby hatch as it is, what with the talking to myself in different languages and arguing with the computer.) But, for those of you who also face the challenge of hiding Christmas presents from the people you live with and actually like, I offer the Grand Unified Theory of Gift-Wrapping as my own little present from me to you. Indeed. My mother always employed the trunk o' the car as the natural hiding spot from four roving Kenney brothers. Santa Claus neverwrapped the presents from his sleigh, because after all he's a busy guy... posted by Shaun Kenney \| 12/25/2006 12:17:00 AM \| 0 comments 0 Comments: Post a Comment Home
	RedStormPAC $ JEFFERSONIAD POLL: Whom do you support for Virginia Attorney General? 1) John Brownlee 2) Ken Cuccinelli View Results About ShaunKenney.com is one of Virginia's oldest political blogs, focusing on the role of religion and politics in public life. Shaun Kenney, 30, lives in Fluvanna County, Virginia. Contact E-mail RSS/Atom Feed The Jeffersoniad Archives March 2002 April 2002 May 2002 June 2002 July 2002 August 2002 September 2002 October 2002 November 2002 December 2002 January 2003 February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 April 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009